Way back in December I wrote to you all about New Years Resolutions and why you should use as much of those 365 days, not just New Years, to reflect on the choices you make and the events that happen to you. I wrote about the importance of focusing on bettering yourself as much as you can throughout the year as you adapt to whatever life throws at you during that time. (You can find that little gem here)
Well, 2015 has been a pretty tough year for me already… Some friendships ran into trouble, have changed or gone altogether, a lot of relatives fell ill and others we lost, some successes were knocked back temporarily, and it was challenging to say the least to stay focused and positive while juggling all these things and feelings at the same time!
I thought that I would share some thoughts and tips that I used to get through the other side. So if times get tough, if you ever feel drained, lose your sense of self or feel down in the dumps (we’ve all been there trust me), have a little read through this little list. Let the ones that grab you help you put things into action, or simply read them for some comfort.
- You do not need to know who you want to be right now.
With everything else that might be going on in your life right at this minute, you might feel a little lost or unsure about what steps you should be taking in order to be the person that you are meant to be. The fact of the matter is, whoever you are meant to be will eventually happen – usually without you even noticing – because who else is destined to be you? So relax, take a breath and try to focus on the present more than the future. Do you need to know where you’re going to be in 15 years? Probably not. Do you need to know about that appointment that you have tomorrow? Probably yes.
- You always have someone to open up to.
For me it is extremely hard to open up to people. Whether I’m sad about something or angry at someone I tend to keep things bottled up for fear of upsetting someone or of starting an argument. But I found that by opening up even a little bit helped to release some of the tension that I’d been holding inside. And sometimes you find that as soon as you loosen that tap, everything comes gushing out (but try not to pile all your troubles onto one person as they may have their own things that they are secretly dealing with). When you have opened up to someone, be sure to let them know that you are there for them if they ever need someone to talk to. You never know, they may need someone to open up to too.
*If it is that you find it hard to open up to people, why not write your feelings down or talk to your reflection? It might sound crazy but any way that you can release some emotions in a healthy, harmless way is always good*
- Everything you see, hear and think will effect how you feel.
If you listen to ’15 Sad Songs To Make You Cry’, chances are you’re going to feel like rubbish. If everything you think is negative then everything that you do, say or feel will be negative too. The key to breaking out of this bad habit is perception. Take something bad that has happened to you and flip it on its head: treat it as a lesson learned or think about how it has changed you. How is it going to shape you into a stronger, better person? Once you begin to see things in a positive light, you will begin to accept what has happened and look at other things in a positive light. Listen to some music that puts you in a better mood, have good conversations with your friends, and watch or read something that inspires you. With all the things you hear, see and think being positive, you will soon feel more positive within yourself.
- What you give is what you get.
You don’t need masses of friends and family to feel good about yourself. You don’t need a fan base that hang onto your every word and gossip with others about what you might be doing. You don’t need people that don’t have your best interests at heart. Remember those closest to you that will be there with you through thick and thin: these are the people that you need to devote your efforts to. You might be going through a hard time right now, but the last thing you should do is take it out on them. If you give them anger and upset, that’s all you will get in return. Remember that they’re here for you, and that if they don’t know the full story about why you’re feeling the way you do, then you can’t expect them to understand where your anger is coming from. If anything, these are the people that should remind you of the good things in life so you should treat them as such.
- The way you feel now is not a forever feeling.
There will be days when you feel like nothing is going right, that things seem to be going downhill or not going to plan. But take some comfort in knowing that just like these less-than-great things and feelings might have come out of the blue, so will the good things and feelings. Right now might not be great, but pull through all this and you’ll be stronger and wiser than ever and those great moments will feel sweeter than ever. Remember, everything is a lesson learned that you can use for future reference.
- Move to move forward.
If things feel like they’re going a little downhill, it can sometimes feel like gravity just got a lot heavier on you and all you can seem to do is sit around. This is the worst thing you can do. Sit around and all these feelings will just consume you. Push up on those heavy feelings and move around! Exercise is great for many things: it helps you rest easier at night, acts as stress relief, and releases chemicals that improve your concentration levels and self-esteem. If exercise isn’t really “your thing”, don’t forget that exercising doesn’t mean just running on a treadmill in a gym or lifting weights. It can be anything from swimming, skating, rock climbing (I did this a lot), Zumba (also v. fun)… whatever you find would be a fun way to exercise. And the beauty of these activities is that you can ask a friend to join you, which helps it to feel like less of a workout and more of a fun activity.
- Find your escape.
Whether it’s immersing yourself in a book, or taking a break away from everything with a little getaway, sometimes all a person needs is a breather from everything. Breaking away from your normal routine with a holiday can work wonders on your feelings: with plenty of activities you can do, and putting the distance between yourself and where your problems resonate can have positive effects on your outlook when you come back. If you can’t take a holiday, try to break out of your routine in other ways. For example, doing something that is out of your comfort zone will act as a distraction and create a sense of achievement when you complete it successfully.
Now some of these things might not take away the way you’re feeling entirely, but they’re great ways to ensure that you don’t focus on the negatives and you will find yourself eventually moving forward. As they say, time is a healer and patience is a virtue.
This year if I’ve learned anything so far, it’s that nothing can ever stay the same. The beauty in life is that something is always happening, always challenging us and keeping us on our toes.
Remember that you have so many opportunities to do what you love – don’t hold yourself back when it comes to doing something that you’ve always wanted to. When you eventually tick it off your list the sense of achievement that you’ll get will be another step towards finding light at the end of the tunnel. Focus on growing yourself and you’ll gain a wider appreciation of what there is to offer and what you can achieve.
Fight for those relationships with people that keep you positive, that keep you focused but that also keep you striving for the most while keeping you grounded. The circle of people around you should have your best interests at heart and you theirs.
But always remember that self-love is the biggest step to moving forward. Once you accept and value yourself, not only will this eliminate any doubts or worries you may have (and anyone who may be creating negative effects in your life) – you will emit positive energies to the universe that are sure to get picked up in no time. When you put out positive energy, this attracts positive energy to yourself. And everyone wants positive energy right?
I hope that you feel like your best self soon and I hope that you found this post helpful, even just a little bit!